It's a new year, and the beginning of a new chapter for me. Single, pushing forty, mother of four, chronically ill. To say the concept of that version of 'me' was daunting is an understatement. It's not the dream to have four kids with two different fathers and be in the position I am currently… Continue reading Shifting sands
So I am one of the lucky ones. I see where tax payers money goes, and how well it can be used when put into the right hands. I'm currently sat waiting for my second brain scan in 8 months. This year so far I've seen neurology, rheumatology, cardiology, urology, dermatology, stroke and clinical immunology… Continue reading A system worth saving
It's been a while. There are many reasons for that, but the most important one is this. Living. I have been living. Life with chronic illness is a curious creature, that shifts like the tides throughout the year, only less predictable. When I'm gifted a good day, I have to grab onto it tightly with… Continue reading Finding my fierce
I'm coming off the back of a bad one. It's always strange when I have been stuck in the house so much. I almost get scared of the outside world, that something terrible is going to happen to me if I venture out into it. How will I speak to people? Will anyone even see… Continue reading Please, see ME….
So it came. I cried for an hour, overwhelmed with relief that my battle was won. I did it. I got the thin envelope. Four years until I have to do it all over again. In those moments I felt utterly invincible, like I had, for once, achieved great things. The reality is that I… Continue reading Rewriting History
I made a decision in May, to stop being a voyeur of society, by keeping my discontent to my close circle of friends. Instead I felt ready to actually do something. It's all very well being an armchair politician, complaining about the ills that are cast upon you, but does it achieve anything? That said… Continue reading Get a f**king job
A month is up today. It has been a strange month, full of the usual highs and lows, birthdays and sick days, all underpinned by this constant feeling of nausea and fear. I have been stuck in this permenant state of 'poor me', as kind people ask me what the latest news is on my… Continue reading Don’t hold your breath