I've been feeling absolutely pants this week. Worse than I have for a while and it's already been a crappy winter. Then out of the blue I get an email from my editor at themighty.com telling me another editor from babble.com wants to publish one of my articles. Sometimes I think the universe is trying… Continue reading Finding Hope, when all seems lost.
I've been feeling pretty crappy lately. It's winter and the short days of cold, windy rain are taking their toll on my body. I hurt. I'm sad. I'm ready for a break from the relentless pain and monotony of feeling terrible. Of course I don't dare say that out loud. I don't show that part… Continue reading Should I stay or should I go?
The hardest part of dealing with chronic illness has and will always be other people. Stupid right? It's not the pain or the sleepless nights. It's not the constant hospital trips and treatments. It's not the sickness and sadness that the life you thought you had, you have now lost. All of those things are… Continue reading When you look but don’t see
Aside from the constant pain and guilt, living with chronic illness is mostly like swimming through treacle. Or walking with lead boots constantly welded to your feet. It's near on impossible to describe what this kind of fatigue feels like. In fact fatigue is almost too mellow a word, it in no way describes the… Continue reading When ‘fatigue’ isn’t enough to explain how you feel
I'm lonely. I'm going to die too soon. I must write a will. I hope I don't give my children my illness. I'm a terrible mother and a failure. How am I going to get everyone to school tomorrow? I hurt. I wish I didn't hurt. Damn it I forgot to put the washing on.… Continue reading Inside the mind of someone chronically ill at night
I want to start with a string of expletives, but I won't. Summer. That precious time with our children stretching out before us. Sunshine. Slow motion running along the shoreline. Blissful laughter on the breeze..... You would think after seventeen years I would have learnt to be slightly more realistic, but no, I instead found… Continue reading Surviving the summer
I've just pulled a double all nighter. Unlike in the late nineties this wasn't all sex, drugs, rock and roll; more snot, baby crack and screaming. You I'm exhausted. In all honesty, exhausted doesn't even begin to cover it. Before my toddler became ill with a run of the mill viral infection, I… Continue reading Hitting the wall