Monday 4th February, 9 am. I hovered Over a button on my I pad, waiting, thinking-add to cart? This would be the moment of my biggest yes to date. At 14 years old, I was diagnosed with adult onset stills disease, a debilitating rare type of rheumatoid arthritis. I was told it was highly likely… Continue reading The start of something new: Head of the Dart 2019
Damn. Another year, another tough winter. I’m sure I must have been a bear or a hedgehog, or something possibly less tough in a former life. This morning came another day dragging my sore body out of bed, feeling sick, taking meds whilst continuing to do all that’s demanded of me on a daily basis.… Continue reading Is it almost over yet?
I have been quiet for a while. As most of you know this tends to be because i am out living life as much as i can, going on adventures and challenging myself. Whilst this is true, on this occasion its also because i have been exhausted. Too exhausted to sit in front of my… Continue reading One foot in front of the other
I don't know how I keep managing this, but yet again I find myself in a turmoltous period of time. The kids have been off for a couple of weeks and we have been blessed with good weather and physical ability on my part, that has allowed us to go on some wonderful adventures together.… Continue reading All change
I've been feeling absolutely pants this week. Worse than I have for a while and it's already been a crappy winter. Then out of the blue I get an email from my editor at themighty.com telling me another editor from babble.com wants to publish one of my articles. Sometimes I think the universe is trying… Continue reading Finding Hope, when all seems lost.
I'm lonely. I'm going to die too soon. I must write a will. I hope I don't give my children my illness. I'm a terrible mother and a failure. How am I going to get everyone to school tomorrow? I hurt. I wish I didn't hurt. Damn it I forgot to put the washing on.… Continue reading Inside the mind of someone chronically ill at night
I've just pulled a double all nighter. Unlike in the late nineties this wasn't all sex, drugs, rock and roll; more snot, baby crack and screaming. You I'm exhausted. In all honesty, exhausted doesn't even begin to cover it. Before my toddler became ill with a run of the mill viral infection, I… Continue reading Hitting the wall
I became single last year. It was both terrifying and liberating. I'd been on my own for long periods before and that alone didn't scare me. There just seemed to be so many mountains to climb; juggling all the kids, my health, both physical and mental. I had no room for anyone else, and who… Continue reading If you fall in love with me…..
I have always been someone who feels empathy; I struggle to hide or control my emotions, and don't generally see this as a negative thing. I wear my heart proudly on my sleeve- if I'm sad you will see it in my eyes, and I've been told my joy is infectious. It baffles me when… Continue reading Love beats hate
I'm sat here broken and sobbing. I just had one of the most humiliating experiences a person can have, and the worst part? It won't be the last time. It's a sunny Tuesday afternoon. I've just had my hair done for the first time in a year; my boyfriend arrives tomorrow and we are off… Continue reading There’s f**k all wrong with her