It's a tricky thing to embrace being off work long-term. I'm sure people think, that would be amazing, but the reality is quite different: it’s lonely and tedious, obsessing over every nuance of your health. Every. Single. Day. Life was previously so full of things that gave me meaning, my job, my role as a… Continue reading Redemptive stories
I'm lonely. I'm going to die too soon. I must write a will. I hope I don't give my children my illness. I'm a terrible mother and a failure. How am I going to get everyone to school tomorrow? I hurt. I wish I didn't hurt. Damn it I forgot to put the washing on.… Continue reading Inside the mind of someone chronically ill at night
I've been debating for a while where I'm going with this. The cold, hard truth of the matter is that I've had very little time for anything other than being mum, and trying to keep my body working as best it can. I can't remember the last time I was able to read a paper,… Continue reading Lessons I have learned
It's a new year, and the beginning of a new chapter for me. Single, pushing forty, mother of four, chronically ill. To say the concept of that version of 'me' was daunting is an understatement. It's not the dream to have four kids with two different fathers and be in the position I am currently… Continue reading Shifting sands
So I am one of the lucky ones. I see where tax payers money goes, and how well it can be used when put into the right hands. I'm currently sat waiting for my second brain scan in 8 months. This year so far I've seen neurology, rheumatology, cardiology, urology, dermatology, stroke and clinical immunology… Continue reading A system worth saving
It's been a while. There are many reasons for that, but the most important one is this. Living. I have been living. Life with chronic illness is a curious creature, that shifts like the tides throughout the year, only less predictable. When I'm gifted a good day, I have to grab onto it tightly with… Continue reading Finding my fierce
I am one of the 19% of the UK population who lives with disability. Yes, that's one in every five people live with a disability of some kind. To put it another way 11.9 million British people. Even I had no idea that the figures were so high. The word 'disabled' covers a broad spectrum of… Continue reading Walk on by…..